can_ister

of work and life.

2009-11-29T17:18:30Z

you know, i use to dread about going to work. i dread about not having my own time to do my own things and the idea that your own time is not yours, but sold to someone... and thats the reason why

i believe, that what i say next shocked myself.

i am looking forward to work. no it is not so much that its a newer and hopefully better place for me ( ok so maybe it is) but the fact that i realised that there is a place and reason for everything and work is one of them. not in the commercialized-and-how -it-drives-the-individual-to-a-better-economic-promise-of-tomorrow sense but more of the philosophical or rather the aspect of work in relations to life aspect of it.

i have been not working for the past 3 weeks and i did think that it would be the best time of my life. after all, there was so much that i wanted to do and so much that i wanted to see but after nearly coming out of this vacation of sorts, i believe that what i reliased at the end of this stint, is probably the most productive thing that has came out of it.

work: the bane of our existence and yet, it is the very anchor that grounds us. without work, there will be no struggles, no battle, no sense of camaraderie, sense of achievement, dread, happiness, satisfactions, dissatisfactions, the realization of the importance of time or the lack of it. work in a sense, give us something to think about; a driving force of what we truly would like to do, a contrast to show us that we could do things better, run things better; be better people, be more grateful for little things like time and time with friends.

you can say that human are flawed that way, or even programmed that way. we are greedy in nature and we have our egos and pride: without comparing or losing something or the urge to be better or more successful, we become people with no driving force and no aim. without boundaries, we have nothing to push against, to fight against.

my point of this entry? well i will say that i am no longer going to reject work and to hate it with a passion; because without work, there is nothing left for me to hate and thus, to love and treasure.

yes i do hate work and i am not expecting myself to love it. not everyone has the pleasure of loving what they do. but today, i truly understand and accept that i hate work and so does the millions of people out there. so, sorry to burst the bubble but there is no such thing as the perfect job. it is how you make out of it.

oh my

2009-08-11T03:35:21Z

candy has a new addiction.

( which one moth down the road, i cant remember what it was. *note to self: i got to stop writing entries that i dont even know what i am talking about; much less other people. seriously.)

no, i am no swine.

2009-07-01T15:57:09Z

....spreading the hong kong lovvveee.
good evening!

today is friday.

2009-06-12T15:37:44Z

i seriously swear,
that what most office workers worry about,
is
money and mondays.

happy weekends.

in celebration of friends and friendship

2009-05-03T16:07:15Z

thank you thank you for all those who had me in mind, in one way or another,
(seriously man, its the thoughts that count!).
those who wished me via sms, phone, msn or facebook...
(yes you! jenn, lershan, aaron, mari, angeline, tasha, sylvia, yuriko, alan, royston, jing hua, jocelyn, char, kailin, pamela, melody, sherilyn, ingrid, rey, terrence, jane, jas, rida, fee fee, christine, cem.)
and those who celebrated with me. i am truly blessed.

thank you to my dad, mom and sisters, for being there always and regardless,
van, rong, teck for the home cooked meal, and years of friendship, laughter, peace and joy.
karen, sera, ian, kenneth (and char), matt, russ, kevin and ling jun for the pleasant surprise and wonderful night.
i will never forget the 4 car entourage, the beach, mel's place and the marina barrage...
and thank you for opening the group to another person. haha! ;)
this is to the years to come.
to a, thank you for everything. seriously.

thank you all for being part of my life.
my life has been richer and more meaningful because of you.

for all those that i've yet to meet, thank you for your insistence and efforts.
i sure do feel loved.

oh, did i mention i have the most awesome friends?

aw shucks!

2009-04-19T13:46:10Z

my wisdom is seriously hurting.

tooth i mean.... ;P

suddenly everywhere seems better than here.

2009-04-05T05:38:58Z

things to do:

1. be in a state of enchantment to think that i am not a by-product of an assembly line.

2. be delusional to believe that THIS is not just it.

3. smack myself at the back of my head and make those illusions into reality.

yes it can be done.
i am hopeful.

gasp! are you ok?!

2009-04-02T11:32:11Z

today, i fell off my chair and it wasn't even cos i saw some gorgeous being.
i was in fact, flashed by an excel sheet. at work.
in the office.
smooth candy, very smooth.

but thanks to someone, i can actually talk about such embarrassing situation.
ha ha!
thank you k.! i really do owe you :)

yes, this is a new chapter.

2009-03-29T05:08:07Z

i'm back, i'm back, i'm back!

its been a glorious 13/14 days;
so dont mind me if i come running and raving about it for the millionth time.
but then again, i might do a flip and not even wanna talk about it;

its only been 19 hours and i think about going back again. constantly.
maybe to melbourne the next time.

if you know me long enough, you should have heard this long enough.
i'm all about improvements.
i think of myself not unlike a game where players keep doing tasks and collecting powers to level up.

there are some who like to see their money saved in a bank, others who rather have it spent on food or clothes; clubs and pubs.
but for me, i'll rather have it spend on getaways;
its the closest i can reach, saved from migrating somewhere else.

i'm starting to like what i see.
but i'm still figuring out the rest of the trip.

hurry up already,

2009-03-09T15:36:48Z

ok go!

what are you up to?

2009-02-08T15:32:12Z

dear friends,
how are you doing?

shagged

2009-02-04T13:30:24Z

seriously underpaid.

what's yours?

2009-01-26T13:29:24Z

i just had the best new year memory with my mom, dad and younger sis;
having the most fantastic mini steamboat...sans chicken. :)
happy chinese new year people!

hello,

2009-01-24T14:47:41Z

i am negative broke;
does this mean i'm cursed for the new year?

says the heart.

2009-01-10T13:43:03Z

quiet now, head.

2009 revised.

2009-01-02T18:13:14Z

this is the 2009 me.
1. do more art stuff
2. pay off debts/ earn more money ( that is after i fulfilled 4)
3. collect pleasant looking stuff that make me happy (after fulfilling 2 which has to have 4 happening first)
4. get a job that i love.
5. live life the way i want to live it, and be proud ( regardless of 1,2,3 or 4).
because this is my life.

2009

2009-01-01T16:29:56Z

my resolutions includes a list of things to do in 2009
which is not much different from 2008,
which i have not even drawn up yet.
oh my.

alittle bit of...

2008-12-30T13:34:13Z

tw <3 .

independent strength.

2008-12-06T18:39:15Z

humans are given 2 feet for a reason.

so we all can stand on our own.

why are we still fighting ?

2008-11-26T05:51:36Z

happiness is worth fighting for.

why is it that we still have to fight just to be happy?

is being happy, without the drama, the mood swings, make it less of a happiness?

feels like an endless war zone out here.
... and they (dare) say that war is over,

everything changes... but me.

2008-11-11T18:57:28Z

i remembered back in secondary school, i told my best friend that i cant wait to get out. now look what happened. 6 years down the road; 2190 days; 131400 hours later, here i am. not only out of school, but venturing into another sort of life. i use to think adulthood was all about having the means and ability to do your own things at your own pace and perhaps most importantly, as you like it. but boy am i wrong. here i am, not knowing what i should do, where should i go and how not to let my parents and myself worry about the state of me in the future. honestly said, i have been toying with certain version of myself in the future. from working in a small design company, accounts executive, copywriter, writer, DJ/VJ, working for a museum, working for the national arts council, being a teacher, being an arts teacher, a trainer, managing a team and even flying just for the seer absurdity of it. random it may seem but it stems from the same idea. i just want to be happy and fulfilled. so right now at this point, another decision has to be made. but unlike the past, this thing i have to choose has to be better than better, more perfect than perfect. because no one is ever going to look at you and think that certain decisions are made due to youth and folly; because when you cross that line, that critical line, people think you foolish and direction-less. when you cross that line, it seems that not only you are making your decision for your life. you are making your decision for everyone's life but maybe except yours. i could be seriously happy living hand to mouth, fulfilling my bucket list you could say, but that is apparently not even part of the equation. hello, at this point, i could seriously do with a clue, thank you very much.

practicing trying.

2008-11-02T05:59:00Z

no, i shall not be a fluke.

dream/reality

2008-10-31T16:44:23Z

why do i see people moving forward,
while i'm standing still.

i'm not lusting for what is theirs,
i'm just lusting after what could be mine.

can_ister @ 2008-10-20T03:02:00

2008-10-19T19:04:27Z

so i kinda lost/got my handphone stolen.
hence no point contacting me if you are in deep trouble and/or dying.
its not that i dont wanna help, but i cant be there.

so in the mean time,
i'm favouring msn or email.
cheerios.

i wonder.

2008-10-15T14:50:09Z

if i was to say,
that i am juggling a part time job, occasional one off jobs and schooling,
would you excuse me for disappearing?